i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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