I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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