So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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