there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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