Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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