I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
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I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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