Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
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