Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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