I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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