I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My liver just had a heart attack.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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