If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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