Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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