i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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