We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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