Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
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His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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