Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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