So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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