guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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