did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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