We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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