and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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