Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize