Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize