She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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