I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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