I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize