and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize