You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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