he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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