hotel room ftw
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize