maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Enjoy the penises
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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