the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize