I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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