i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
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I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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