drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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