it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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