when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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