the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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