its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize