I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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