i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize