What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
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We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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