I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize