I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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