My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize