If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize