All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize