woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize