I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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