do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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