Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize