im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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